Anticipation

A heart half filled, half emptied yet brimming with anticipation. It makes the mind go mad, and logic senseless. As I lose grip to realities and perspectives, my mind plays back the fond memories. As I try to feign indolence, the worst came... I would rather feel pain once and for all and let my heart vanish in the void of emptiness than suffer such incandescent anticipation...

Yet time and again, hope refills like a free flow night at the bar, only to evanescent at the heat of each morning sun. Expunging from my system are the unrealistic dreams, unfulfilled expectations, fantasized thoughts and many other beautiful things. I want to find a way to forget it all, to revert back to being a loveless soul. A soul devoid of love and emotions, at least it felt better that way... At least time passes faster... At least I could sleep...

But somehow I wanted an answer or a closure...

Is it love? Or is it just pure infatuation?

I can’t decide anymore...