Mindworks

I hate how the mind works, one moment its idyllic, the next bored, the next creative and then out of the blue it sneaks in a depressing thought. Her, why now? For almost a month, I thought shards of her have already evaporated off my mind… But reading about a movie online, the next thought that came through my mind was her...

In the absolute conviction of the infinitesimal possibilities over the past 2 months, things beyond my grasps and my intellectual capacity oscillates and gaps through the certainties I once aimed to achieve. Everyday, something beyond my thoughts and anticipation happens - Coincidentally, accidentally, fatefully and at times suddenly… Breaking my chain of thoughts and the logic behind all the science and common sense I possess, I could only accept the reality as they are. Everything happens for a reason… Sometimes the reason is rational, at times the rationale doesn’t even make sense and most of the time, things just happen without any of the above… Things like why I still think of her after she's gone…

Everyday is a lesson; everyday is a gift to be opened, that’s why it is called - Present. Everyday there is something good, we just have to open our eyes to see it, even though most of the time it is small and seemingly insignificant. Regardless, it is still there and I can see them now. It’s what gives me the strength to get up everyday and get going. It’s what made me be in love with her everyday though I didn’t know it at that time, and even when she wasn’t in love with me anymore, I could still see the small things everyday that made me love her. I wish she had seen the same things…